Scenario: Nick’s wife, Wendy, forces him to go to a seminar where she expects him to learn to treat her better, when in fact he learns that she is just completely psycho. (Nick is to be played extremely sarcastic over-the-top)
What a great experience this is. What was I so afraid of? I mean, when you got up there in front of all those people and said those things and they told you how full of it you are, it was like an enormous burden off my back. I mean, I went in that room scared because deep down inside I thought I was the bad guy. That’s a laugh. Even when I was a kid and I was hitting my sisters with bricks, I wasn’t such a bad guy. I was only doing it to be noticed. It was as if I was saying “Hey! Look at me, I need love too!” You want me to be a bully, so you can be the victim. It’s like you keep putting your face under my foot. I keep trying to take it away, and you keep holding it there. I’m not sure why, but my gut tells me it’s got something to do with your needing the excitement. That’s just one little insight I got there. Boy, I can really feel myself transforming from this experience. I’m pulling the covers off you, you paranoid, martyr, bitch, nag. Now don’t take that as a judgement. It’s not your fault. You picked it up from your mother and she picked it up from her mother. Probably your whole family tree, all the way back to the beginning of evolution, is like that. The first turtle who crawled out of the sea who you’re related to had to be a whiner, a complainer, and a ball breaker. But I want you to be clear on this. I’m not talking about you all the time. There are moments when you seem perfect. I’m talking about the other ninety percent of the time. When you’re not only bad, you’re evil. That’s what those two hundred and fifty people were reacting to then they booed you. Not the perfect part; the bad, evil, ugly part. And that’s what you’re going to change, baby, or it’s the garbage dump for you.