This is How it Is
by Bryan Patrick Moses
David is very cocky and he thinks he knows everything about women. He is talking to his friend Sam, his best friend, about a beautiful woman who walked into the bar that they are in. David follows these “codes” of socializing that is not actually true.
You want to make an ass out of yourself? You don’t know if she is even interested in you. What are you going to do? Nothing. She’s not your type. Man, trust me on this. All right. She’s not your type. Look at how she’s dressed. You see that? She’s not your type. A girl like that? Come on. How long have you known me? (pause) Right. About four years, right? Now, in these past four years, how many girls have you dated that’ve dressed like that? Huh? (pause) That’s right. None. Now, the girls I’ve dated, right? How many have dressed like her? There you go. (pause) Do? Do? What am I going to do? You really don’t get this, do you? Look at her. She wants me. Okay? Get that? She wants me. You see, she thought that she was being subtle. The looking over here, the drinks, the smiling, the cigarette, all that so-called subtle crap says loudly that she wants me. But she’s an amateur. Granted, I want her too, but the beauty of it is that she isn’t sure that I want her. You see, I have the power. The ball is totally in my court. Right now, she is sitting there wondering, “Why the hell doesn’t he come over here?” And what’s great is, that this makes her want me more. You see, Sam, I know women. Plain and simple. I’m not one of those poor slobs who sits around and says, “I don’t understand women.” Those are also the same guys who wonder where all the Vaseline has gone. There have been medical studies that say this and that about how women and men think differently. I might buy that, because they’re talking about mathematical skills, crap like that. But when it comes to sex, women and men think exactly the same. The only difference is men will tell you what they think, while women will hide it. But since I’m so trained in these things, I’ve been able to get women to reveal everything, while I reveal nothing. You see, women hide their sexual desires, or at least try to, but men don’t. That’s why women have the power in this world. I’m talking the real power, now, not that running the country crap. But, you see, I have broken their code. They’re defenseless. I have the power!